Soap Box Journey

I hacked across the downward slope to where the blurred line of Bahia grass meets the sandy track that leads in and out of Copperline Farm. Instead of following the trailer deepened path I took a left into our jump field. There was a light breeze that awakened a playful strand of blond hair that I politely placed back into its layer under my helmet; I heard Ferdinand’s name tag jangling in perfect time with his adolescent retriever lope as he hustled to catch up to me; between two velveteen rabbit-colored ears I saw our proud Live Oak standing gracefully, keeping an eye on everything in and on the Farm and I felt a soft smile land on my face and happiness fill up my heart.

This has been a long week. Tik and I both have been investing time and expensive energy in new ventures. We have reached the time in our lives where we are old enough to recognize we are no longer young enough to be wasteful with our time or with our energy. We are wise enough to pursue the practices of investing time and energy in doing what we love, becoming experts at what we are good at and have a crack at making an impact the world. Alas we are still young enough that we haven’t mastered the balance of spending and conserving energy to allow us to be sustainable resources in this endeavor.

This is ironic as I have just heavily participated in a symposium about Energy and Expensive Energy. The more knowledgeable I become about this topic the more I realize how expensive highly emotional energy is. I was born into a fairly entrepreneurial family so I enjoy creating and building new things as well as the creative process in getting there. As I investigate how my energy presents itself, I realize in some form I have always needed this “expensive” emotionally charged energy to get myself in the right gear to “get sh*% done”. But as I am trying to evolve from a self-appointed captain on a soap box journey to something… more, I know I need to harness this type of energy for only the most worthwhile things.

The beginning of my week was filled with worthwhile endeavor’s, worthy of my highest energy: Our C-6 team completed our first Symposium with 50 auditors and a full production crew capturing the two-day event for Horse and Country Television; I hit a milestone in my three-month journey of back to basics in my jumping skill set; and I celebrated my husband’s 39th birthday with our two-year-old son, family and friends. I realized at the end of the week I was nearing burnout and I needed to get back to low energy, recover and recharge. I had to compromise on several things that were deserving of my time and I immediately felt guilty.  Recent revelations and information helped me recognize that these feelings of guilt and worry are also energy depleting so in an effort to maximize recovery time I had to let those feelings go.  

We need to work towards awareness of the placement and intention of our energy. We also need to be aware of the cost of that energy personally, with those we love and with our horses or animals.  Everything has a price, like a Key West Key Lime Pie, some things are just worth it…  the balancing act is replenishing the energy every time it has run dry. Today as I hacked in quiet harmony with my horse, my dog and the energy of my farm I finally felt my light turn green again.

I am going to steal the flight attendant (and Dr. Jenny’s) chorus and for your safety make sure you put your oxygen mask on first before assisting your neighbor, you are not much help if you are passed out on the floor!  Take care of yourself so you can take care of others, your horses and be present for whatever adventure you are embarking.