Uncertainty is the number one cause of my anxiety…

…on any given day, and as I entered High Performance Farm at 8:00 am on a sunny Saturday I was certainly uncertain.   I politely placed my mini cooper among the array of oversized farm trucks, in similar contrast was the darkly stained  paddock fence jetting up from the lively green grass that framed the covered arena in which the stage was set  for the day. I signed in and was met with gazes of women like me that were drawn here out of curiosity but maybe, just maybe to engage with an audience that might make it safe for our unspoken thoughts, frustrations and our own truths to find a vehicle for expression. The question danced in the humid morning air…was this going to be the place and the day for those truths to be challenged, celebrated or maybe even rewritten?

I sat down in a warm chair where sun boomed through the large frame of the beautiful covered arena that adorns the highest slope on this Ocala Property. Next, I saw my friends walking around the corner, Dr. Jenny Susser obviously charged by the many new guests at the farm and her confidence in knowing what the day would bring, this was not her first rodeo. Following a horse’s length behind was Mette Larsen, her signature look of cowgirl meets Pikeur carried a slightly more cautious expression. A grin met my face as I made sure my pen was ready to scribble in a sideways font across my newly printed workbook.

Over the next few hours and few weeks, I became engrossed in what I started to discover that day. The sun that morning slowly started to rise over a landscape that I walked everyday but yet had not stopped to explore. The more women I spoke to, the more stories that I read or listened too and the more I started to connect to my own personal journeys, the more I have realized I have been on my wonderful adventure with horses wearing a pair of boots that didn’t quite fit. I always assumed the problem was with me and not with the boot so I just kept on experiencing things in a slightly uncomfortable way. 

Through our exploration of how to find confidence and connection in horse women we found ourselves walking back in time. The original model that designed the horse industry was a history of Cowboys and Calvary. This is a history to be proud of and one that was essential in the development of our horses, our countries and our sport. But at some moment in time the balance started to shift from horses being a tool necessary for work, to pets used for sport, pleasure and companionship. When that started happening women and little girls became a more familiar face across riding schools, barn aisles and climbing over the paddock fences with a halter on one arm and this is when the model should have started to evolve. 

C-6 came to fruition as we started to focus on key elements that needed attention; as well as bringing our unique skills together to help start a movement for change in the horse industry for women. My leg of the journey started at the High-Performance Relationship due to my background in High Performance Sport. When I attended the clinic at Jenny and Mette’s Farm back on that sunny morning, I started to redefine my relationship with my own emotions and confidence and instead of avoiding failure and being shameful of fear, I started to understand the science of these emotions and how to use them as tools for my personal High-Performance goals within the Sport of Eventing. I realize not every woman wants to go to the Olympics but if we can test this model in the most intense situations what better way to highlight what is working, what needs tweaking and then adapt it for every level of horsewomen.  I laugh now with Jenny and Mette calling myself the “Field Agent” as I am out in the Field of Play testing out our work. We are expecting and embracing a healthy amount of human error on this journey but we are steadfast in documenting, discussing and discovering How Women Do it…